Post by KONA NICOLE ANDERSON on Feb 1, 2011 7:46:41 GMT 6
turn her over, a candle is lit i see through her
BLOW HER OUT AND SAVE ALL HER ASHES FOR ME
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strawberry gashes by jack off jill
In the words of Craig Ownes, "I'd like to keep cutting, but I can't stand to watch myself bleed". It's not I faint at the sight of blood, or the smell sends a wave of toxic fumes into my lungs, or even that the taste creates a rushing river of bile up rising up my throat. It reminds me of of the little clouds of swirling mist the blood makes when it hits the water.
I was successful at cutting myself. I usually did it under the luke warm bath water and force myself to watch the swirls dance their way to the surface. I realized that cutting my wrists brought on attention, which had not been what I wanted. I then tried to wearing a hair band and flicking it against my skin. Welts and burises formed, but it wasn't enough. I struggled with other methods such as scratching, and I even did a few cuts that I stitched up. However, it wasn't until one day when I dropped a candle on my foot that I felt a sensation that was almost orgasmic. Burning.
I'm a pyromaniac. Fire takes me to places that even surfing could take me. It runs chills through my whole body and the sensatons are fantastic, and the burning simotaneously makes me want to scream until my lungs bleed in terrible pains and rip off my clothes and dance like a heathen singing praises to a pagen god. I burn. I run the water in my bathroom just a little to hot. I don't use oven mits. I place a lighter against my skin and let it melt and chew through the layers of my pale skin until there is a dark strawberry gash. I've been reflecting on these actions recently, because of a deceased sadistic. He was the first to ever cut me with an item such as a knife or pair of scissors. He taught me that statisfaction comes from pain. He fucked me and he fucked me up. Yet, I miss him. I wish he was still alive and here with me. Especially now. I'm not asking for help, if that's what you think. I simply want some normalcy in my life.
Kona
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